Half-half marriage, a new marriage trend
Can the responsibilities between husband and wife be shared fairly?
Another trend, "Excel divorce," also emerged.
Marriage begins with the heart of wanting to be a giver to each other.

“Honey! I washed half of the pot we ate together. You wash the other half.” The video of YouTuber Kickservice, which depicts the half-half marriage trend of dividing everything in half as a black comedy, has become a hot topic.

Is it a business or marriage? Half-half marriage, where the marriage expenses, living expenses, and housework are exactly divided in half, has become a trend.

The background of the emergence of the half-half marriage trend includes rising real estate prices, an increase in women’s economic activities, and a change in values that marriage is a choice.

Another background is that it emerged as a new “solution to inequality” found by the MZ generation who grew up watching various inequality issues from previous generations.

Therefore, the era of “I’ll give you everything!” has come to an end, and the era of “Let’s share everything fairly” has come. Half-half marriage seems reasonable at first glance. What are the problems with this half-half marriage?

First, there is the problem that it is difficult to share responsibilities fairly between husband and wife. The idea of dividing everything equally may sound fair in theory, but in reality, it is difficult to decide what constitutes an equal distribution of responsibilities.

Couples are complex beings, intertwined from housework to childcare and financial contributions. Therefore, it is practically impossible to divide everything exactly in half.

Moreover, the concept of "half-half" can be different for each person, which can easily lead to conflict. As an extreme example, there was a husband who had a problem with his wife buying sanitary napkins from their shared bank account where they put in their living expenses.

He argued that sanitary napkins are a personal expense, not a shared expense, and that they should be paid for with her own money. Menstruation can be linked to pregnancy and childcare, which are common goals for couples, but it seems excessive to insist on a 50/50 split even in these aspects.

Finally, half-half marriage can cause emotional problems. If couples focus only on dividing things fairly and equally, emotional connection and intimacy can easily be neglected. Couples who insist on 50/50 may prioritize "practicality" over building relationships over time, which can lead to emotional distance and separation.

These problems with half-half marriage have led couples who divorce to create another trend called "Excel divorce." Excel divorce refers to getting a divorce based on an Excel spreadsheet detailing how much each person contributed to household life, such as housework time, income, and expense records.

Eunjoo Park, a lawyer specializing in divorce for 14 years, who introduced the term “Excel divorce” to the public, said on TVN’s You Quiz on the Block, “They record not only the expenses but also the time spent on housework and parenting in Excel. It seems very reasonable, but ‘couple’ is the furthest word from ‘reasonable’.”

My opinion on half-half marriage is that I agree with preparing half of the initial marriage funds if the situation allows. I also believe that it is desirable to start by sharing responsibility together. However, I disagree with doing everything 50/50 after marriage. This can lead to many problems as mentioned above, and even lead to Excel divorce.

What would you do if your spouse loses their ability to work due to illness and can no longer earn money? How can you keep a 50/50 split then? Will you tell them to pay their medical expenses themselves? It feels strange to even discuss this issue as a couple.

Can a relationship where dividing bills is more familiar than sharing laughter really be defined as "marriage"? Marriage is a relationship where two people create a family, support each other, and are responsible for each other.

Even in a friendship, a relationship that is ruthlessly calculating is difficult to sustain. I imagined this. I eat a lot. My friend and I ate 2 portions of food, and I ate 1.4 portions and my friend ate 0.6 portions, but my friend said, “I’ll only pay for 0.6 portions.” Could this relationship last?

The answer was NO. Because in a calculating relationship that doesn't want to lose “even a single grain,” there is only "calculation" and no "love."

A person who prioritizes calculation over love will worry about medical expenses rather than the sick me when I’m sick. Life is too short to spend it with someone like that.

When asked about their thoughts on "half-half marriage," someone replied, “Instead of half-half marriage, how about rough marriage?” It meant that instead of a strict 50/50 split, they should do it roughly according to the situation.

A rough marriage is also good, but marriage is most ideal when both parties approach it with the intention of being a giver to each other.

I wanted to write this column using words like love, care, respect, and sacrifice that should rightly accompany marriage, but I toned down the writing, wondering if some people might think this is an outdated, old-fashioned, and unreasonable statement.

Perhaps a person who "doesn't want to lose anything" is experiencing the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is being left alone in the end.

Relationships built on "love, care, respect, and sacrifice" are actually very helpful in terms of "survival." This is because when you fall and collapse, the only things left by your side will be the relationships built on these seemingly unreasonable “words.”

For those who still don’t understand this, let me give you one last piece of rational advice. If you're determined to live your life meticulously calculated from the perspective of investment, don't forget about "long-term investment."

Think about the significance of relationships, especially your "spouse," that have been built firmly by giving more of yourself, even as a long-term investment to avoid dying alone.

※ This article is written by me and copied from an article on Woman Economy Newspaper..