[Hyungyoung Ju Column] MZ Generation's Solution to Inequality: '50/50 Marriage'

Half-half marriage, which has become a new marriage trend
Can responsibilities be fairly divided between spouses?
Another trend called 'Excel divorce' has also emerged.
Marriage begins with the desire for both partners to be givers.

“Honey! I washed half of the pot we ate from. You wash the other half!” The video by YouTuber Kickservice, which depicts the half-half marriage trend, where everything is divided in half, as a black comedy, has become a hot topic.

Is this a business or a marriage? Half-half marriage, where marriage expenses, living expenses, household chores, etc. are precisely divided in half and each party bears their share, has become a trend.

The background of the emergence of the half-half marriage trend includes rising real estate prices, increased female economic activity, and a changing mindset that marriage is a choice.

Another background is that it emerged as a new ‘solution to inequality’ found by Generation MZ who grew up witnessing various inequality issues from previous generations.

Thus, an era has arrived where instead of "I'll give you everything!" it's become "Let's share everything fairly." Half-half marriage seems rational at first glance. What are some of the problems associated with this type of marriage?

First, there's the problem that it's difficult to fairly divide responsibilities between spouses. The idea of dividing everything equally sounds fair in theory, but in practice, it's difficult to determine what constitutes a fair distribution of responsibilities.

Couples are complex beings intertwined in household chores, childcare, and financial contributions. Therefore, it's realistically impossible to divide things exactly in half like cutting a radish.

Furthermore, since the concept of ‘half-half’ can differ between individuals, disputes easily arise due to this. As an extreme example, there was a husband who took issue with his wife purchasing sanitary pads from a joint account where they each deposited their living expenses.

He argued that sanitary pads are a personal expense, not a shared one, and therefore should be paid for with her own money. Menstruation can be linked to pregnancy and childcare, which are shared goals of the couple, but insisting on a half-half approach even in these areas seems excessive.

Lastly, half-half marriage can lead to emotional problems. If couples solely focus on fair and equal distribution, emotional connection and intimacy can easily take a backseat. Couples who stick to the half-half principle may prioritize practicality over fostering a deeper bond, which can lead to emotional distance or alienation.

These problems associated with half-half marriage have led couples who divorce due to these issues to create another trend called ‘Excel divorce.’ Excel divorce refers to divorce based on a detailed Excel spreadsheet documenting each person’s contribution to household life, including housework hours, income, and expenses.

Lawyer Eun-ju Park, a 14-year veteran divorce specialist who introduced the term ‘Excel divorce’ to the public, stated on tvN’s You Quiz on the Block, “They record not only the expenses but also the amount of time each person contributed to housework and childcare in the Excel spreadsheet. While it may seem highly rational, ‘couple’ is the furthest word from ‘rationality.’”

My opinion on half-half marriage is that I agree with it if couples can share the initial marriage funds in half. I also believe that starting with shared responsibilities is desirable. However, I oppose making everything half-half after marriage. This is because it can lead to many problems discussed above, potentially resulting in an Excel divorce.

What if, after marriage, your spouse loses their ability to work due to illness and can no longer earn money? How can you maintain a half-half approach in that situation? Will you tell them to bear their medical expenses themselves? The very idea of a couple discussing such issues feels strange.

Can a relationship where sharing bills is more familiar than sharing laughter truly be defined as a ‘marriage’? Marriage is a relationship where two people form a family, support each other, and take responsibility for each other.

Even in a friendship, a strictly calculative relationship is difficult to sustain. Imagine this scenario: I tend to eat a lot. If I and a friend share a two-person meal, and I eat 1.4 portions and my friend eats 0.6 portions, and my friend says, “I’ll only pay for 0.6 portions,” would that friendship last long?

The answer is no. In a calculative relationship where one strives to avoid even the slightest loss, there is only ‘calculation,’ and no ‘love.’

A person who prioritizes calculation over love will likely worry more about medical bills than the person who is sick when I’m ill. Life is too short to spend it with someone like that.

When asked about their thoughts on ‘half-half marriage,’ someone replied, “Instead of half-half marriage, how about roughly marriage!” It was about doing things roughly instead of strictly adhering to a half-half split.

Rough marriage is also good, but marriage is most ideal when both parties approach it with the mindset of being a giver to each other.

I wanted to write this column freely mentioning words like love, consideration, respect, and sacrifice, which ought to accompany marriage appropriately, but I toned it down in case some might consider it old-fashioned, outdated, and unreasonable.

Those who ‘never want to be at a loss’ may be experiencing the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is being left alone in the end.

Relationships built on love, care, respect, and sacrifice are actually very helpful for ‘survival.’ This is because, when you stumble and fall, the relationships built on those seemingly irrational ‘words’ will be the only ones remaining by your side.

For those who still don’t understand, I offer a final piece of rational advice. If you’ve decided to live your life based on thorough calculations from an investment perspective, don’t forget about ‘long-term investments.’

As a long-term investment to avoid dying alone, consider that the relationships you’ve built by giving more of yourself, and especially your ‘spouse,’ are truly meaningful.

※ The author of this article is the original writer andthis is a repost from Woman Economy Newspaper.