Marriage Signals and Decisions <Signal: Marrying a Man Who Wants to Give You Everything>

Marriage Signals and Decisions <Signal: Marrying a Man Who Wants to Give You Everything>

One day, Isaac told me, "I've decided. I'll give Youngjoo everything." I yelled, "What?!" Isaac was startled and asked why, so I showed him my old memo.

I usually record my inspirations in the Naver memo app. On April 21, 2021, an inspiration struck me, and I wrote this in my memo: <Signal: Marrying a Man Who Wants to Give You Everything>

I casually wrote it down and forgot about it. But the moment Isaac said those words, my memo came to mind. I'm a super-T, so when I heard that, I was moved, but I also asked in detail. I asked what the scope of "giving everything" was. Heart, life, money—what did he mean by giving everything? Isaac replied that money was the easiest part to give, and while opening his heart 100% and giving himself was more difficult, he had decided to do that as well.

Isaac's decision to give everything also included a decision to receive. Isaac is an extremely independent person. He dislikes receiving things from others and always tries to do everything himself. He has firm convictions and never wavers. This extreme independence can make the other person feel powerless. Because he tries to do everything himself, there's no room for the other person to participate. Ironically, Isaac's decision to give everything also meant a decision to receive everything. A big decision to allow the other person to influence his life.

That day, he also talked about his vulnerabilities. "I'm actually... this kind of person." His vulnerabilities were similar to mine. Someone with high standards who dwells on and suffers over mistakes. (Slightly perfectionistic tendencies) Showing his vulnerability rather than only showing his cool and great side made him more attractive. I was also glad to find an area where I could support him and have a role to play.

I like things going smoothly, but I think 'commitment' and 'decision' are very important. 'Going with the flow' might sound natural, but it also implies irresponsibility. Especially in long-term relationships that have gone past the marriage stage, I often see couples who think they'll get married someday. If no one makes a decision and takes action, nothing happens. If you get married naturally due to your parents' urging, you're giving your parents the right to decide your life. As independent adults, we should decide our own lives. We shouldn't postpone that responsibility.

Isaac early on told me about his commitment: <Commit to Youngjoo: Dedication to Youngjoo>. Regarding the marriage decision, he said, "If it's 90% right, it's foolish to give up 90% in order to find 100%. There's no such thing as a perfect person, and if it's 90% right, you should decide. It's not easy to meet someone like that in life." He said he decided to get married because we were 90% right.

It took me longer to decide than Isaac. All sorts of fears about marriage came flooding in, and my low self-esteem, my inability to trust myself to make the right choice, played a part as well. Having experienced many challenges in life, I also had many failures, so I was afraid of the weight of decision and responsibility.

Still, I overcame my fears and mustered the courage to decide to marry him as well. Strangely, once I made the decision, all the fear and anxiety disappeared. According to the book <The Philosophy of Anxiety> by Kishimi Ichirō, anxiety is an emotion created to postpone decisions. My various anxieties disappeared through making a decision.

After the decision, it's about moving forward. Overcoming fear and taking a step forward, opening your eyes to a new world. Entering the next stage of life. In terms of a game, it's like leveling up, or logging into a NEW server.

Once again, I end this post with gratitude to Isaac. Thank you for deciding to dedicate yourself first, and thank you for deciding to give everything. Let's do well, us.

osaka